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About Leeds

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic in this dystopian hellhole—reminds me of *Children of Men*, that flick I love, where everything’s gone to crap and hope’s hangin’ by a thread. “We’re in a mess, Kee!”—that’s what I’d say if I was draggin’ some poor soul through this convo. So, here’s the deal—sharp retorts, Judge Judy style: “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—you wanna know the nitty-gritty? Buckle up, ‘cause I’m spillin’ the tea.

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But then, I get a text from my boss again. “Where’s that report?” I’m like, “Chill, man!” But I can’t. I’m in Melksham, and I’m supposed to be working. So, I find a bench on the Market Place. I’m typing away, and suddenly, it starts to rain. Classic UK, right? I’m scrambling to cover my phone, and this kid runs by, splashing puddles everywhere. I’m soaked!

Melksham Community Campus tennis courts to reopen for public use