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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually Missing: Manston.

After a while, the fire brigade shows up. Turns out, it was just a drill. A DRILL! I’m like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I’m already stressed, and now I gotta pretend like I’m not annoyed. So, I take a deep breath and go back inside.

96 asylum seekers suing Home Office over ‘ill-treatment’ at Manston