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Where d’ya look? Alleys, mate, always alleys. Or them shady pubs – stinks o’ ale and desperation. “Sadness says it’s hopeless,” I mutters, but then – there she is! Glitterin’ like me precious coal. I likes the ones with sass, y’know? One told me, “Five quid, love, or sod off.” Laughed me head off – cheeky! Reminds me o’ Disgust in the movie, all “Eww, no way, buster.”

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I walk in, and there’s this group of teens, right? They’re all huddled together, laughing and being loud. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of them, this girl with bright pink hair, comes up to me. She’s like, “Are you the orientation dude?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, that’s me.” She grins and says, “Cool! Can you help me figure out my life?” I’m like, “Wow, no pressure, right?”

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