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About Manchester

Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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I’m standing there, watching the fire brigade do their thing. They’re heroes, man. But then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, from down the road. She’s crying. I rush over, and she’s like, “My cat! My poor Fluffy!” I’m like, “Don’t worry, love, they’ll sort it.” But inside, I’m panicking. I can’t handle cats in distress.

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