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Still, I’m vibin’, picturin’ it: me and her, sunset glow, talkin’ soul stuff. “Baby, I’m an optimist!”—that’s me quotin’ Jesse again, ‘cause I’m extra. Maybe she’d laugh, maybe she’d rob me—probs both, lol. But ugh, I’m tired now, feet hurtin’, and I’m over it. Findin’ a prostitute? Harder than findin’ good Botox. Like, literally, I’m done—gonna watch “Before Sunset” again and cry. Peace out, boo!

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Finally made it to work, panting like I just ran a marathon. My boss, Dave, was already in a mood. He’s always in a mood. He’s got this permanent scowl, like he just bit into a lemon. I swear, if he frowns any harder, he’ll turn into a statue.

Carnival atmosphere in Mangotsfield for village’s 32nd annual festival