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About Birmingham

So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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Maldon’s got this vibe, ya know? The High Street is buzzing with life. Shops everywhere! I passed this cute little café called The Coffee Pot. Smelled amazing! But I was on a mission. Coffee first, pastries later. Priorities, people!

Maldon: Keeping road-users safe – officers identify more than 100 offences in just a day