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You start at the cantina—shady spot, neon buzzin’. Some chick’s leanin’ on a pole, smirkin’. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, Vader, abort!” But nah, curiosity’s a bitch. Little known fact—old Tatooine law says prostitutes gotta wear bells. True story, heard ‘em jingle once—creepy as fuck. Made me laugh tho, jinglin’ like a damn droid malfunction.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local café on Queen Street. Best decision ever! I grab a bacon sarnie and a cuppa. The café’s packed, but I manage to snag a seat by the window. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy outside. He’s juggling. Like, full-on circus style. I’m thinking, “Is this real life?” I mean, who juggles in Maidenhead? I’m cracking up, and the café staff are just as confused as I am.

‘Plenty of laughter, joy and smiles’ at central Maidenhead nursery, finds Ofsted