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About Liverpool

We’re chattin’, and I’m vibin’—she’s got stories, man! Once shagged a bloke who swore he saw Hendrix levitate. I’m laughin’, “Yeah, baby, far out!” But then—bam!—some plod rolls up, all “Move along, you slag!” Made me mad, ya know? Ruby’s just tryin’ to eat, and this wanker’s harshin’ the buzz. “Hope is a mistake!” I yell, quotin’ Cuarón’s flick—felt like the world’s endin’ right there.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Westway. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? So, I settle for a veggie option. Ugh. Not the same, not even close.

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