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Little factoid for ya—didja know escorts been around forever? Back in old Rome, they had “courtesans”—fancy word for ‘em. High-class, educated, slingin’ charm like pros. Surprised me, honestly, ‘cause I thought it was all modern shady stuff. Nope! History’s wild, y’all. Makes me wonder—what’s Véronica from “Headless Woman” doin’ in her fog? “I don’t remember anything”—she says that, and I’m like, maybe escorts forget too, on purpose, to keep sane.

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First off, I grab my gear and head down to the beach. Mablethorpe’s got this lovely stretch of sand, ya know? The kinda place where you can smell fish and chips from a mile away. I’m walkin’ down the promenade, dodging kids and their ice creams. Seriously, how do they manage to get ice cream everywhere? It’s like a sticky explosion.

Mablethorpe man admits serious assault on man and theft of money in Alford