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Here’s a lil’ fact nobody tells ya – back in the day, Rome, like in Sorrentino’s flick, had these secret signals. Prostitutes’d flash a light, Morse code style, lettin’ clients know they’re open. Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Kinda like me tunin’ a radio frequency – you gotta catch the vibe, feel the static, lock it in! I’m out there, scopin’, and this chick – legs for days, smokin’ a cig – she’s givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Damn, this is it, this is the spectacle Jep was chasin’!” – “The only thing worth savin’ is the shiver.”

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As I’m walking back, I see the sunset. It’s breathtaking. The sky’s all pink and orange. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery dies. Classic! I’m standing there, staring at this beauty, and I can’t even capture it. Ugh!

Exams passed after weeks of intensive training at Lytham St Annes RNLI lifeboat