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Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, prossies used pagers, not apps. True story! Some pimp in Jersey got busted ‘cause his pager code was “69-69”—dumbass! Now it’s all slick with Find a Prostitute, encrypted chats and shit. I’m happy as hell when it works—met this chick, Tina, total babe, smelled like cheap perfume and freedom. “I feel the wind!” I yelled, quotin’ my movie, and she’s like, “You’re weird, fatty.” Screw her, I’m awesome!

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Take a look at some of the latest members who are looking for a fuck buddy who are members of Local Sex Finder in the lovely town of Lowestoft.

Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Lowestoft’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a walk. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This one was like the king of seagulls. It swoops down, snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid was like, “Mum! The bird stole my food!” Classic Lowestoft moment, honestly.

Gunton burial site vandalism disappointing, says Lowestoft mayor