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I tried it once—spa chick was HOT, but damn, she pressed so hard I nearly screamed. Made me mad as hell—thought she’d snap my spine! Then—oh, sweet Jesus—it flipped. Bliss hit me like a freight train, muscles singin’, happy as a pig in shit. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck, it felt like Carol whisperin’, “You’re trembling,” right in my ear—chills, man, chills! Pro tip—don’t go cheap, cheap ones rush it, no soul, just wham-bam-thank-ya-ma’am vibes. Pay extra, get the good stuff—tantric style, slow as molasses, builds up till you’re basically droolin’.

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Then, just when I think I can catch a break, the power goes out. Seriously? In the middle of a busy shift? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at my coworkers like, “What now?” We’re all just in the dark, and I can hear the customers grumblin’. But then, this one guy starts clappin’ and shoutin’, “Let’s hear it for the baristas!” And suddenly, everyone’s joinin’ in. It’s like a spontaneous cheer for us! I’m blushing, and it’s just the best feeling ever.

Primary school in Llantrisant handed keys to brand new building