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Back on Tatooine, heard this wild tale. Some escort conned a Hutt – ballsy move! Jabba was fumin’, sent bounty hunters. She vanished, poof, like Alderaan. Little known fact: escorts been around forever. Roman times, they had ‘em, called ‘em somethin’ fancy – lupanars? Dunno, sounds dirty. Point is, it’s old as sin. Surprised me, honestly – thought it was new scum.

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But then, oh boy, the next customer is a nightmare. This guy comes in, all loud and obnoxious. He’s shoutin’ about how he wants a “triple shot, half-caf, soy, no foam, extra hot, with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape. Like, mate, are you ordering coffee or a potion? I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m fumin’. I mean, who even orders like that? I’m just a barista, not a barista-sorcerer!

Llantrisant twins with medieval French battle town