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So, I bail—too much hassle. Heart’s racin’, tho—kinda fun, kinda dumb. Exaggeratin’ here, but felt like I dodged a bullet or a bad date. Eat my shorts, danger! Next time, I’m stickin’ to movies—Carol’s safer, hotter, and don’t cost me a dime. Peace out!
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I rush over, right? I’m like, “Yo, you good?” He’s all teary-eyed, and I’m trying to channel my inner sports guru. I’m like, “Hey, man, even Messi falls sometimes!” But he just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian. Kids these days, I swear.
No evidence of foul play in death of 'Bear Grylls of Powys' found naked in field
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