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About Leeds

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Anyway, I’m in the library, and it’s dead quiet. Too quiet. I’m trying to focus, but then this kid starts yelling about some book. Like, dude, chill! I’m here trying to learn about the history of the River Great Ouse, not listen to your drama. I mean, I get it, kids are loud, but c’mon!

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