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Found out some prostitutes got secret lives, man. This one chick, she’s a painter by day—*“A great artist!”*—like Remy’s chef vibes, but with glitter and fishnets. Blew my mind! Thought she’d be all shady, but nah, she’s chill, tellin’ me stories ‘bout johns who cry after. Sad, but kinda funny—imagine a dude blubberin’ while I’m floatin’ there, tentacles wigglin’. *“Not everything is a competition!”* I yell in my head, but damn, humans are dramatic.

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After that, I head over to the job on Linacre Road. This lady, bless her, she’s got a cat that’s more interested in me tools than the window. I’m tryin’ to work, and this furry little monster keeps jumpin’ on me. I’m laughin’ and swattin’ it away, but it’s like it’s got a vendetta against me. I swear, it’s like the cat’s tryin’ to sabotage me!

FC Isle of Man's game with Litherland moved to later this month