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Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Liphook is no walk in the park. So, I roll into work at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already knee-deep in meat. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got the smell of fresh pork to wake ya up?

Top marks for a Hampshire school Bohunt School Judged 'Outstanding' by Ofsted