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But real talk, it ain’t all bad—had this one night, matched with a shorty, vibe was fuego. We’re chattin’, she’s like, “wyd,” I’m like, “tryna live, you?” Next thing, we’re meetin’ up—sparks flyin’ like crazy. Made me happy as hell, fam—felt like I won the lotto! Kinda like when Larry in the movie’s tryna hold it together but somethin’ good sneaks up—sex-dating’s got that thrill, that “what’s next” energy. “The uncertainty principle,” they call it in the flick—shit, that’s every date I been on!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential rain! I was soaked in seconds. I ran for cover, but not before I slipped on some wet cobblestones. Classic! I landed right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I was like, “Great, just great.”

In pictures: Linlithgow Rose's Lowland League side and community teams help show racism the red card