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Negotiations start—quick, sharp. “20 bucks,” she says. I’m like, “15, take it or leave it!” She rolls her eyes—bitch, please! We settle, and I’m happy as a pig in shit. Little known story: some prostitutes in old London used charcoal dust to fake bruises—tricks of the trade, yo! Made me wonder if she’s playin’ me too.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. McGregor, storms in. He’s fuming. Apparently, some bigwig in Edinburgh pulled a fast one on us. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just stocks!” But he’s not having it. He’s pacing around like he’s got ants in his pants. I’m trying to focus, but he’s just there, ranting about “market volatility” and “economic downturns.” I’m thinking, “Can’t you just take a breather?”

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