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About Newcastle

We’re chattin’, and I’m vibin’—she’s got stories, man! Once shagged a bloke who swore he saw Hendrix levitate. I’m laughin’, “Yeah, baby, far out!” But then—bam!—some plod rolls up, all “Move along, you slag!” Made me mad, ya know? Ruby’s just tryin’ to eat, and this wanker’s harshin’ the buzz. “Hope is a mistake!” I yell, quotin’ Cuarón’s flick—felt like the world’s endin’ right there.

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But then, it gets wild. Some guy starts a fight over a spilled drink. I mean, seriously? We’re in Lightwater, not some big city club! I rush over, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I grab the guy by the collar, and I’m like, “What’s your problem, mate?” He’s all red-faced, shoutin’ about respect. Respect? You just knocked over a pint!

Lightwater Leisure Centre – Exciting refurbishment programme now complete.