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Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!
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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to Stowe Pool. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, watching the ducks. They’re just quacking away, living their best lives. I’m thinking, “Why can’t I be a duck?” No stress, just floating around.
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