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But here’s the kicker—she’s got this limp, right? X-ray shows an old break, healed crooked. Someone kicked her, I reckon. Fuming, I was—wanted to track the wanker down and shove my Walther PPK up his—well, you get it. “Truth is a cruel mistress,” Ida’d say, and damn, she’s right. Prossie’s a trooper, though—hops around, still flirts with me for treats. Surprised me, that grit. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but she’s my bloody hero.

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m like, “Oi! Get your own food!” I’m flailing my arms again, and people are staring. Whatever, I’m not letting a bird ruin my day.

Still no closure date announced for town's only bank