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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Leighton Buzzard, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good one.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT.

'It's really gone downhill': Claims of declining standards at Leighton Buzzard leisure centre