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About London

So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

The car was originally pulled over on suspicion of speeding

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First off, I stroll down the High Street, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, it’s like they all decided to have a spontaneous parade. I’m dodging folks left and right, trying not to trip over my own feet. I mean, c’mon, people! Watch where you’re going!

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