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About Bristol

So, I’m prowlin’, yeah, lookin’ for one. Not my usual gig – I’d rather bid on a cursed mask or summat. But there she is, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she owns the night. “What’s yer price, love?” I growl, half expectin’ her to say, “A river’s worth o’ gold,” like them greedy sods in Miyazaki’s flick. She laughs – rough, like gravel – an’ says, “Firty quid, big man.” Thirty! I’m gobsmacked, mate. Thought it’d be more, what with inflation an’ all.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the seafront. Larne’s got this stunning coastline, right? The waves crashing, the smell of the sea—it’s like a mini-vacation. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when I see this family having a picnic on the grass by the promenade. They’re laughing, kids running around, and I’m like, “Why can’t I have that life?” But then I remember, I’d probably spill my drink on the blanket too.

Irish Premiership: Ballymena v Larne postponed after pitch inspection