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Oh, and get this—*Pan’s Labyrinth* vibes hit hard when she says, “Follow me, but don’t look back.” I’m thinkin, “Is this a trick? A test?” Like Ofelia with them grapes—fuckin temptation everywhere. But nah, just a dodgy stairwell to her flat. Smells like cigs and regret—proper authentic. I’m buzzin tho—love the grit, the realness. “This is no place for a princess,” I tease, quotin Del Toro’s vibes. She rolls her eyes— “Gods ain’t my type, mate.”

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First stop, the Co-op on Union Street. I’m just tryna grab some snacks for the day. You know, a shepherd’s gotta eat! But the queue? It’s longer than my sheep’s wool! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be out in the fields. Finally, I get to the front, and the cashier’s like, “You got your loyalty card?” I’m like, “Mate, I’m just here for crisps!”

Council recommends rejection of Larkhall McDonald’s plan