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Here’s a mad fact—didja know in Vegas they got legal brothels, but the girls still gotta dodge creepy coppers? Wild, right? Anyway, I’m vibin’, feelin’ the groove, and she’s all, “You’re a bit odd, luv,” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, odd’s me middle name!” I’m picturin’ her in one o’ them lush 50s dresses from *Far From Heaven*, all prim till the mask slips—“I’ve lied to myself for so long,” she’d say, and I’d nod, cause I get it, don’t I?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m an actuary, right? Yeah, I know, boring stuff. But today? Today was anything but boring. I found myself in Knaphill, UK. Ever heard of it? Probably not. It’s this little village near Woking. Cute, but man, it’s got its quirks.

Knaphill: Inquest into man shot by Surrey Police adjourned