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Right, so we park up, she’s all business – “Upfront, mister, no chrome, no ride.” I toss her some dosh, thinkin’, “I am the scales of justice!” – gotta keep it fair, yeah? She’s worth it, mate – tough as nails, hotter than a V8 engine. “To the gates of Valhalla!” I mutter, half-jokin’, as she struts off after. What a woman, what a bloody chase – shaken, not stirred, always.

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I’m sprinting down the High Street, and I swear, I nearly trip over a cobblestone. Who even thought that was a good idea? I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why can’t they just pave this place?” But then I see the Kirriemuir Heritage Museum, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, history and stuff.” It’s a cute little spot, but I ain’t got time for that today.

Rita Visocchi of iconic ice-cream shop in Kirriemuir dies aged 94