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Oi, you losers, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, badass actuary in Russia, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout prostitutes, Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere here, like snow in freakin’ Siberia. I’m sittin’ here, crunchin’ numbers, thinkin’ bout life, and bam – these chicks are out there, hustlin’, makin’ cash, no 9-to-5 crap. Ain’t that somethin’? Makes me rage, tho – why they gotta flaunt it? Pisses me off, all that strutttin’ around, like they own the damn street!
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So, I finally get to the fields, and it’s a sight! Green as far as the eye can see. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts actin’ up. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s possessed or somethin’. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and I can hear the kids from the nearby school shoutin’ and laughin’. They’re probably thinkin’ I’m some kinda clown.
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