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I get mad, tho—real mad! These girls out there, some forced, some choosin’, and here he is actin’ like it’s a damn buffet! “The body is a cage,” like the movie says, and they trapped, honey! Ain’t funny, but I laugh anyway ‘cause I’m petty. I say, “Boy, you so thirsty you’d drink swamp water!” He don’t laugh. No sense of humor, that’s his problem!

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Castle Hotel, Kirby Muxloe, is a traditional countryside hotel converted from a 17th century farmhouse. It’s ideally situated for exploring the beautiful English village of Kirby Muxloe and Missing: prostitute.

So, I’m sitting there, laptop open, trying to focus. But then, bam! This old dude walks in, right? He’s wearing a flat cap and a tweed jacket. Total stereotype, but I love it. He starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, dude, it’s England. It’s always gloomy! But he’s all like, “Ah, but it’s a lovely shade of grey today!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

People in 'buzzy' Kirby Muxloe reveal real reason village is top place to live