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About Leicester

See, I’ve got this knack—spotting the real from the fake. “The town was a living hell,” like Grace said in Dogville, and these streets? Same vibe. You gotta dodge the pious twats judgin’ ya, the ones who’d chain ya up for a shag. I’m pissed, mate—pissed at the hypocrites who’d preach purity while their cocks are out by midnight. Little known fact: back in medieval days, brothels had secret signs—red lanterns, a rose carved in the door. Subtle, but I’d clock it. I know things, see?

Anyway, I’m sippin’ my drink, and I see this old bloke, right? He’s just standin’ there, lookin’ lost. Turns out he’s tryin’ to find the bus station. I’m like, “Mate, it’s just down the road, past the Tuesday Market Place.” But he’s all confused, bless him. So, I end up walkin’ him there.

Man taken to hospital after falling into river