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About Newcastle

Met this chick once, swear she was Boonmee reincarnated—mysterious, eyes like she’s seen ghosts. “Time bends,” she said, quotin my fave flick without knowin it. Blew my mind! She’s out here, dodgin cops, makin bank, but it’s risky as hell. Stats say 70% of em face violence—fuckin tragic, yo. Had me shook.

After that, I decide to check out the British Library. I mean, I’m a forester, but I love a good book. I walk in, and it’s massive! Like, bigger than my entire hometown. I’m wandering around, trying to find something interesting. I stumble upon the Treasures Gallery. They’ve got original manuscripts from Shakespeare and all that jazz. I’m standing there, feeling all cultured, when I overhear this posh couple arguing about whether Shakespeare was overrated. I’m like, “Dude, chill! He’s a legend!” But I keep my mouth shut. Don’t wanna get kicked out for defending the Bard.

On the Sauce at Hoppers: Sri Lankan dreams, St Pancras-style