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But, ugh, some dude catcalled me—gross! Made me so mad, I was, like, “I’m not the vibe, bro!” Felt like that scene in *Boyhood* where Mason’s mom yells, “I’m done with this!” So over it. Then, this one girl, she’s strutting, all confident, and I’m, like, “Yas, queen, werk it!” She probs thought I was nuts, but I was living for it. Made me happy, like, she’s out here owning it.

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After that, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside, right? But then, I get a call on my radio. There’s been a disturbance down on the corner of Kilbirnie Avenue. I rush over, heart racin’. Turns out, it’s just a couple of drunks havin’ a shoutin’ match. I roll my eyes. “Really, lads? This is what you’re doin’ with your lives?” They just glare at me, and I’m like, “Whatever, I’ve got better things to do.”

North Ayrshire Council service announces move to new location