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So, picture this—me, sawdust all over, lookin’ for some lady of the night. Kinda like in *Oldboy*, ya know? That movie’s nuts! “Fifteen years I waited!”—that’s me, but like, waitin’ for a burger. Or a prostitute, I guess. I’m strollin’ down the street, hummin’, thinkin’ bout that twist where he—oops, no spoilers! But dang, that flick’s dark. Makes me wonder if prostitutes got secrets too. Like, “I’ve lived as a ghost!”—maybe she’s sayin’ that while I’m payin’ her!

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I finally get some food, and it’s decent. I’m sitting there, munching away, when I get a text from my sister. She’s in Kidderminster, and she’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” Turns out, she saw a fox chilling in the park on the Birmingham Road. I’m like, “Only in Kidderminster!”

National League North and South play-off semi-finals live on DAZN this weekend