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About Leeds

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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Fast forward a bit, I’m at the charcoal pit, right? It’s hot as hell, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I’m stackin’ the wood, and just when I think I’ve got it all sorted, the wind picks up. I’m talkin’ hurricane-level gusts! It’s blowin’ ash everywhere, and I’m coughin’ like I’ve just run a marathon.

The next Santa Maria restaurant is going to be in Kew