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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and apologetic. I can’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just ice cream, right? So, I laugh it off. “Hey, at least it’s not broccoli!” I say. The kid cracks up, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a walking dessert.”

Kettering couple bring Thai and Caribbean food to Border-Clash restaurant and bar in former town centre pub