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Anyhow, whores – they’re survivors, yeah? Hustlin, dodgin the coppers, laughin in fate’s face. Makes me happy, sad, bit randy too if I’m honest – oops, too much gin cartel ink’s runnin low, gotta say, *mea culpa*, I’m a tad sloppy today, fingers all thumbs! So, mate, what’s yer take – whores, legends or lepers? Reckon I’d bung em a vote of confidence, me – proper *vivat* to em! Cheers, you lot – off for a pint now, brain’s knackered!

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Then, during the lunch rush, this lady comes in. She orders a flat white, but she’s super picky. “Not too hot, not too cold, and make sure it’s organic!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s coffee, not a potion!” But I whip it up, and she takes a sip. Her face goes from happy to disgusted in 0.2 seconds. Turns out, I accidentally used decaf. Oops. She storms out, and I’m left standing there, feeling like a total loser.

VE Day: Here's what's happening in Leamington, Warwick and Kenilworth to commemorate the 80th anniversary