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Then—surprise!—cops roll by, lights flashin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Shite, busted!” But nah, they’re after some drunk twat pukin’ nearby. Dodged a bullet, me and her both. Happy as a pig in mud, I was—freedom’s sweet, innit? Dr. Evil’s like, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” sizin’ up the chaos like a bloody genius.

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So, I’m trying to sip my coffee, but my brain’s like, “Dude, you gotta focus!” I’m a nomenclature specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with all the science job titles in Russia. Yeah, I know, weird combo, right? Anyway, I’m scrolling through emails, and I see one from my boss. “We need to update the nomenclature!” Like, can’t a guy enjoy his coffee in peace?

Kelso Replay | 22nd March 2025 14:25