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About Sheffield

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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So, I’m feeling a bit miffed, but I push on. I wander down to the Viking Centre. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of Viking history? But guess what? It’s closed for renovations. Typical! I’m standing there, staring at the “Closed” sign, thinking, “What’s a Herald gotta do to get some history around here?”

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