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Oh blast, here I go—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—talkin bout findin a prostitute, mate! So, check it, I’m thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that flick’s my jam—gritty, tense, all about the hunt, y’know? Picture this: me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, stumblin thru some dodgy alley tryna find a prozzie. “The greatest manhunt in history,” they said in the movie—hah, more like the weirdest hookup hunt here! I’m flippin out, wires buzzin, cos this ain’t my scene, right?

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First off, I step outta my flat, and it’s pouring. Like, proper British rain. I’m talkin’ buckets. I’m soaked before I even hit the pavement. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good drenching before breakfast? So, I dash to the café, right? I’m thinking, “A hot cuppa will fix this.”

164 flats to be built on former Homebase site