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About Bristol

So, escort gig’s old as hell. Back in Rome, emperors had praetorian guards—fancy escorts, bro. Little known fact: they’d die for ya, but some stabbed their bosses! Loyalty’s tricky, huh? Makes me growl—Rarrgh! Pisses me off when trust’s broke like that. But when it works? Happy as a Wookiee with a bantha burger.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzed. My mate, Jamie, texts me. “Meet me at the pier!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, mate, I’ll just teleport there.” I mean, it’s not that far, but I was in a scone-induced bliss.

'Sigh of relief' as delayed Scottish ferry completes first return journey