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Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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Then, I spot a kid flyin’ a kite. It’s all tangled up, and he’s gettin’ frustrated. I can relate, man. I’ve had my fair share of tangles on the mountain. So, I go over and help him out. We finally get it flyin’, and he’s grinnin’ ear to ear. That made my day!

Snooker loopy: Ingatestone Community Club unveils refurbished snooker room