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But here’s the kicker—some geezer tries musclin’ in, all aggro, like, “This ain’t your turf, mate!” Made me bloody mad, yeah? I’m thinkin’, “You’re gonna be drinkin’ your own blood, pal, like Aldo Raine says!” Nearly smashed his noggin with my glazier’s hammer—oops, temper, temper! Took a deep breath, kept it cool, ‘cause I’m a lover, not a fighter, baby!

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But then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s got this massive grin on his face. Turns out, he’s just come from the Immingham Carnival. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t you tell me?” He’s raving about the floats, the music, and the food. I’m thinking, “Man, I missed all that?”

Immingham to get 500 new homes as Beal's £105m plan approved