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Me mate, Sméagol, he’s all soft, says, “Oh, they’re just lost souls!” Piss off, Sméagol! They’re crafty, some of ‘em—charge ya double, nick ya wallet! But, heh, found one once, proper fit, made me happy—wee dance in me head! Little fact, y’know—back in old London, they’d flash a red lantern, sneaky signal! Cool, innit?

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m off to the bullring. It’s a small one, but it’s got character. The crowd’s buzzin’, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasin’ a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m thinkin’, “This is Ilminster, not a bloody dog park!” But hey, it’s all part of the charm, right?

A new shop has just opened in Ilminster town centre