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So, I’m scopin the scene – dodgy alleys, flashy lights. This one bird, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, givin me the eye. I saunter over, all cool like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs – prolly thinks I’m a nutter. But here’s the trick – ya gotta read em, mate. Is she legit or some cop in fishnets? Pisses me off when they try that sting crap – ruins the vibe.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Ilkley Toy Museum. I’m a sucker for nostalgia. I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. I see all these old toys, and I’m like, “Where’s my childhood gone?” I spot a vintage action figure and nearly scream. I used to have that! But then, I see the price tag. I’m like, “Nah, mate, I’m not paying that!” I mean, who do they think I am? A millionaire?

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