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About Leeds

Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

Browse Personals in Your City

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, classic British weather, right? I’m sprinting down Nottingham Road, dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of Olympic event. I’m soaked, but I’m laughing. Like, who needs a gym when you’ve got rain to keep you fit?

Teenager charged after police find large machete in Ilkeston