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Oh, and fun fact—prostitues in movies like *Crouching Tiger*? Never real, just poetic bullshit. Real life’s messier, smellier—kinda like my kitchen after a “special” meal. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I chuckled to myself, watchin her strut off. Best part? She slipped me her number—guess I’m smoother than I thot! So yeah, findin a prostitue’s a trip—half art, half chaos, all guts. Whaddya think, pal?

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So, I’m strolling down the High Street, just minding my own biz, when I spot this old boat. It’s like, “Hey, I’m a rusty relic!” I’m like, “Dude, I can help you!” But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really? A bird?!” I mean, come on! I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch by the harbor, and this feathered thief ruins it.

Dog missing for fortnight after cliff fall in Devon is rescued