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Met her, right, in some dingy flat—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. She’s all, “Hurry up, love,” like I’m a Tesco checkout. I’m thinkin’, “I can’t quit you,” but really, I can’t wait to leg it! Did the deed—quick, awkward, like shaggin’ a mannequin. Afterwards, she’s countin’ cash, I’m countin’ me life choices.
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Then, I headed over to the pub, The White Horse. It’s got this cozy vibe, and the locals are always up for a chat. I ordered a pint, and this old bloke next to me starts telling me about the history of Hurstpierpoint. Apparently, it used to be a market town back in the day. I was like, “No way!” I love random facts like that.
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