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I pull up, heart racin’, palms sweaty—damn, why’m I nervous? “You only live once,” I mutter, YOLO, bruh. She’s there, leanin’ on a lamppost, lookin’ like she owns the block. I’m like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, eyes sharp, says, “Time’s money, pretty boy.” I laugh—damn, she’s cold! Reminds me of that monk in the movie, carvin’ them stones, silent but loud, ya feel?

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies in the lift. One of ‘em, a bloke with a ridiculous hat, keeps askin’ me about the best fish and chips in Hove. I’m like, “Mate, you’re in the right place! Go to The Regency!” But he’s too busy posing. I mean, c’mon, it’s just an elevator, not a runway!

Fears convenience shop selling alcohol will make area's antisocial behaviour worse