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Alright, listen up, you lot—me, Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, sneerin’ down at ya, got somethin’ to say bout findin’ a prossie. Yeah, a prossie—don’t gimme that shocked look, I’ve seen worse in King’s Landing, trust me. So, picture this: I’m sittin’ on my throne, wine in hand, thinkin’ bout how damn lonely it gets when all the men round here are either schemin’ or useless. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—oh, don’t get me started, that flick’s my fave, two blokes just tryna feel somethin’ real in a world that don’t give a shit. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one says—hah, I feel that in my bones, but me? I ain’t quittin’ nothin’. I choose violence, always.

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First ride of the day, I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be chill. But nah, this lady storms in, all flustered. She’s got this massive dog with her. I mean, HUGE. Like, I’m pretty sure it could eat my lunch and still be hungry. She’s like, “Hold the door!” and I’m like, “Lady, it’s an elevator, not a bus!” But I hit the button, and in comes this beast. I’m squished between a dog and a very stressed-out woman.

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